mann..i really don't know where i'm headed in life. ingatkan after university life, once u get a job, it's smooth sailing after that. WRONG. i'm not happy wit my current job. is it just me, or memang tak best? i'm not sure...but each has a part in this. i guess now is vital in determining where i'm headed in my career. now i know one, for certain...factory environment is not for me. it's routine, chaotic and u're staying put in one place only. the machine vs. me, manpower vs. me and bosses vs. me. talk about a lone fighter.
now i'm in the crossroads of my life. which direction i take will be very important. this never seemed to be more important to me than now. aku ingat lagi masa dapat results masa baru abis ari tu....rasa merdeka. but then, my cousin told me, "Merdeka apa? skang ni la kau tak tau nak buat apa." how right he was then. masa tu it didn't seem relevant. ye laaa.. growing up in the malaysian education system, u were told what to do. UPSR kena score, bole masuk asrama. PMR kena score, bole stay kat asrama. SPM kena score, bole fly oversea (yeah, rite..). masuk universiti, dapat degree, lepas tu keje lah. okay, the masuk universiti dapat degree part is done. so now what? keje? keje apa? mop lantai? mcDonald's? engineer? salesman? teacher? lecturer? what, damnit WHAT??!!
i think i have a vision of where i want to be in 10 years, but the vision is very unclear. i have to make sacrifices and do things that are drastic. i don't want to dissapoint my parents. that's the last thing i want to do. i want to do things that i want to do. not just 'get a job'. entah laaa...ini baru career-wise. how about my real life? friends and relationships. itu lagi pening. i hardly have a life now. tak tau laa...i'm so self-centered, it's frightening. so like any other being in this world, when i seek for help, i turn to the Almighty. show me and guide me on the right path. Amin...
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 8:20 PM
kesian blog aku. it's been more than 2 weeks since i last blogged. is it a sign of boredom? not really...just been a bit busy. and writer's bloc has something to do wit it too. actually...a lot of things had happened for the last 2 weeks. last monday, i took a road trip to kemaman wit my parents to attend an interview. u heard me right....kemaman...the final frontier of human civilization. why would i want to work there? simple...it's a job for field engineers at a local well service company. which means i get the chance to work in the oil and gas industry. which happens to be something i want to pursue in my life...
i applied on leave for monday. konon pakcik sakit kat terengganu, padahal aku bole bet the whole office tau aku pegi interview. terasa bodoh laks...hehhe...so anyways, the terengganu trip was good for me. dah lama aku tak pegi that side of peninsular malaysia. it was jalan kampung all the way from seremban to bahau to muadzam shah to kuantan. terasa simple gile kampung life...when u think about the hustle and bustle of urban life....everyday u're rushing to do something, macam tak cukup masa. terasa nak lepak kampung je...hehhe...
last time i went to the east coast was almost 7 years ago. now diorang dah bawah PAS...but things seem to be like normal. maybe not that rich lah compared to the west coast, tapi i guess tak adil jugak. things here look tough, business nampak macam slow je. tak tau la apsal...
i extended my stay there for another 2 days...due to a second interview they called for on wednesday. takkan la aku nak balik keje on tuesday, then rush back on wednesday? superman ke?? so...apa lagi...this calls for the beautiful thing called emergency leave. maybe it's a blessing in disguise, coz i really needed a vacation. cehh...padahal baru je keje for 2+ months. but it felt really good. lepak wit my parents lagi, which is something i haven't done for quite some time.
as for the 2nd interview, it was okay i guess. chances are 50-50. they called around 11 guys of which they wanted only 3. tak tau la camne....deep inside i'm really hoping. it's not the struggle of going to kemaman that matters. oil and gas is THE industry i want to be involved in. tak tau la orang lain...but the feeling of going offshore, stepping on the steel structure of the oil platform gives me total satisfaction. biar la pijak sekali pun...at least merasa gak aku pijak pelantar minyak. as a student, i would dream of working on a rig, with the taste of crude oil on my face as it bursts out from the pipe. perghhhh...bestnye....ala harry stamper style imortalized in armegeddon.
so i'm really hoping for this oppurtunity. they told me they'll inform me (kalau dapat) around next week. so now i'm playing the waiting game...waiting for the unknown. this part kinda sucks coz u don't know what to expect. keje pun takleh concentrate sangat...asik fikir pasal benda ni je.
3 days off work was really, really refreshing. but then, bile balik...macam2 la org tanya. tak sangka lak diorang rindu kat aku ni...hehehhe. last thursday was really scary. ye laaaa....2 days AWOL....tebal aje la muka. the welcome back greeting from everyone was greeted wit my half-ikhlas smile. mann..i really need to get away. i hope they give me the chance to step on an oil rig. wish me luck!!
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 7:48 PM
yesterday was one of the worst day of my life. actually...i'm just making an overstatement. it was a really bad day, but not one that'll go into the record books.
i wasn't sure what to expect in the morning, but i should have read the warning signals when pagi2 lagi dah kena fire time morning meeting. tak la fire mana pun, just a reminder to me by the big ol' boss. shit betul la...masa aku buat, sekor pun tak mintak....tau2 time aku tak buat je, time tuuuuu la nak tanya. sucks.
so that was pretty much it in the morning. ingat nak nalik awal semalam...but noooooooo...ada je hal. takpelah tu. i went back around 8 something. time sampai je the friendly neighborhood mamak stall for a decent meal...shit...in my wallet there was only a couple of ringgit. cukup la for a meal...but i was damn hungry. tak bole jadi ni...kena pegi bank.
so off i went back home to kelana jaya to find an ATM machine and a fully fortified meal. all was well until i reached the motorola exit....what the fuck...i thought...jam gile.
of all the days, of all the time, there had to be a traffic jam tonite at 9.15 pm. 9.15 pm!!! butoh punya kuala lumpur. mana2 pegi pun jam. it would be understandable at 6-8 pm. but 9.15??!! what the fuck...new york ke apa....
so i waited and waited and waited. finally arriving to my favourite RHB ATM machine which was the nearest to my house, only to find the ever happy notice telling me "Sorry, machine temporarily out of service". sorry your ass....
then i knew that this was a baddddd day. i knew i had to find an ATM and makan before any shit happens again. nasib baik things went smooth after that..so i treated myself to a vanilla ice cream sandwich at the nearest 7 eleven. pergghh...nothing beats the joy of a melting vanilla ice cream in your mouth. good thing i had Dido for company as i drove back. sapa kata songs can't heal?? after a fucked up day...lagu je can't go wrong. tak kisah la dido ke, marlyn manson ke, GT Boyz ke...it all depends on your taste in music...even though sapa denga GT boyz must be fucked up in the first place...hehehhe...
nasib baik aku survive semalam. and what better way to end yesterday than to watch survivor all-star. i'm rooting for Lex!! Lex rocks!! and maybe a soft spot for richard hatch...the naked gay guy. yesss...i'm a believer once again...mark burnett tak kencing kita....hope not....hahahha...
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 5:25 PM
80's Icon of the Month - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
tup-tup dah bulan februari. another month comes along. with it, comes the paycheck and also another edition of 80's Icon of the Month. (i should get this name trademarked)...hehehe...
for this month, i wanna go back to my childhood days. duhhh...in the 80's i was a kid. so like any other normal boy, i was into cartoons. and certainly one of my favourite cartoons back then was the Teenage Mutang Ninja Turtles. i know that they were other bigger names back in the 80's with the likes of transformers and GI Joe, to name a few. don't get me wrong, i loved them but i guess that these reptiles deserve their due recognition. alaaaa...there's other months to go, rite?
teenage mutant ninja turtles or TMNT were certainly one of my favourites back then. they had this attitude so different from the other cartoons. they were always clowing around, had this sick sense of humor and they loved pizza. certainly an image the 80's younger generation can relate to.
how i would wake up on sunday mornings early to catch their show. with the catchy theme song that i remember till today, u know u loved the turtles. and a good catch phrase certainly helped out...'Heroes in a half shell'.
with their wise old guru in the form of a mouse named Splinter and a bad guy with the name of Shredder and his foot soldiers, how could u miss it? these guys spend the day hanging out in the sewers while fighting the baddies. not bad for a superhero, eh? oh yeah...i almost forgot an important character. she was a female reporter...but i forgot her name. maybe some of u toon freaks can help me out there. april if i'm not mistaken. aweks wajib ada. cartoon pun cartoon gak, but u just gotta have sex appeal. hehhehehe...
TMNT went on to become one of the biggest merchandise in the 80's. they had a few movies too. the first TMNT movie, aku ingat lagi pegi tengok kat Capitol Seremban with my uncle and cousins. punya la excited....even the chinese-dubbed dialog couldn't spoil my mood...heeeee...
TMNT will always be remembered for its kick ass attitude of turtles named after great artists: Michaelangelo, Donatello, Raphael and alamak...blank pulak sape sekor lagi....wathisname tah....
so despite not remembering the 4th turtle, i give my salute to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...heroes in a half shell and 80's icon of the month!
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 7:37 PM
and since we're still in the hari raya aidiladha mood, why not something to remind us of the true word of korban. just now, while watching the evening news, they highlighted a story about a retired USM deputy registrar who now provides free tuition to kids around his kampung in kedah. NST already highlighted the story on saturday...and it gave me a kick in the ass reminding me that this world doesn't spin around me. everyday i'm thinking me, me, me and me. i wanna be rich, i wanna buy that iPod, i want a DVD player, i want, i want, i want.
so when is the time i gave back? that question came to me when i read the story about that kedah guy. God bless him. he gives free tuition to about 200 kids per week in his makeshift 'classroom' built from various materials collected from building sites. he started around 8 years ago if i'm not mistaken, with around 20 kids. news spreads out quickly of his free tuition and soon...he's got dozens of students. he teaches maths and english to the kids. some of his earlier students who has graduated, now come back and help him teach and organize the place. wow...ada jugak orang macam tu kat dunia ni lagi ye. while everyone is talking about rapists and murderers and how everyone in malaysia is getting crazier, it's good to know that we still have people like him. the keyword here is FREE TUITION. who gives anything away for free nowadays? even the crummy, smelly toilet costs us 20 sen.
nobody can do this without keikhlasan. he enjoys teaching the kids and seeing them being successful is already a reward itself. bukan senang woooo...aku yang ada gaji ni pun malas nak pegi keje. just imagine teaching these kids every week for NOTHING. zip, zero, nil.
volunteering is big word. it's not as easy as it seems. i've done some wee bit of volunteering (sikit je) in the past, and it's not that easy. u have to make sacrifices and kena banyak sabar. and i really suck at being patient....seriusly. tapi the satisfaction it gives just cannot be described. in this modern, concrete jungle atmosphere, i guess there will always be the unsung hero who carries on doing what he believes in without hoping for due recognition and reward. the only reward and recognition that comes is to the heart...
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 9:53 PM
so hari raya aidiladha slowly passes by. this year, it's been a little different than the usual hari raya haji of the past. to start things off, i wasn't at home the day before hari raya...which was a first becoz i'm usually home and dry by the time the takbir raya is heard on tv. i arrived home at around 11 pm to the smell of my mother's rendang and kuah kacang...ahhhhh..home is sweeeettt.
another different aspect of raya haji this year is that i didn't go semayang raya that morning....talk about a good start to the day. i was dead tired (konon penat) and didn't have the resources to wake up despite my parents' calling. kesian papa pegi semayang sorang2....what to do...i'm no angel.
despite the bad start, the day didn't seem too bad. most of my family are here in seremban, and everyone visited each other. this was quite usual in my family, but this year, it seemed to be a lot merrier. i don't know why, maybe i'm just glad to see them. and another suprise came in the form of my friends visiting me on hari raya haji. certainly that is a first. congrats aaaa kuman and kurel....hahhahahaha...
so this year's celebration certainly is a lot merrier than usual. why shouldn't it be? holidays is about family and friends and certainly a day off from the office. maybe that's why it's a lot happier...
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 9:23 PM