Mind Blowing

Thoughts and other crap on people, life and maybe footie...
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Monday, February 23, 2004

Destination Anywhere

mann..i really don't know where i'm headed in life. ingatkan after university life, once u get a job, it's smooth sailing after that. WRONG. i'm not happy wit my current job. is it just me, or memang tak best? i'm not sure...but each has a part in this. i guess now is vital in determining where i'm headed in my career. now i know one, for certain...factory environment is not for me. it's routine, chaotic and u're staying put in one place only. the machine vs. me, manpower vs. me and bosses vs. me. talk about a lone fighter.
now i'm in the crossroads of my life. which direction i take will be very important. this never seemed to be more important to me than now. aku ingat lagi masa dapat results masa baru abis ari tu....rasa merdeka. but then, my cousin told me, "Merdeka apa? skang ni la kau tak tau nak buat apa." how right he was then. masa tu it didn't seem relevant. ye laaa.. growing up in the malaysian education system, u were told what to do. UPSR kena score, bole masuk asrama. PMR kena score, bole stay kat asrama. SPM kena score, bole fly oversea (yeah, rite..). masuk universiti, dapat degree, lepas tu keje lah. okay, the masuk universiti dapat degree part is done. so now what? keje? keje apa? mop lantai? mcDonald's? engineer? salesman? teacher? lecturer? what, damnit WHAT??!!
i think i have a vision of where i want to be in 10 years, but the vision is very unclear. i have to make sacrifices and do things that are drastic. i don't want to dissapoint my parents. that's the last thing i want to do. i want to do things that i want to do. not just 'get a job'. entah laaa...ini baru career-wise. how about my real life? friends and relationships. itu lagi pening. i hardly have a life now. tak tau laa...i'm so self-centered, it's frightening. so like any other being in this world, when i seek for help, i turn to the Almighty. show me and guide me on the right path. Amin...

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