"With great power comes great responsibility."
Never has the immortal words from the pages of Spiderman ring so close to home. You won't see me swinging in the rooftops anytime soon but ever since I worked here, power is something that you get used to. And something that can easily be manipulated by those who desire. Which is not all that great for a nobody like me.
Because yesterday, somebody tried to give me an early Raya present.
I was so shocked, I'm still shaken by it today. How could I be so naive? Being in the position that I am, I've come to expect that one fine day, somebody somehow will try to bribe me. Omigod I said the B-word, didn't I?
I've always thought that I would be ready for that moment with a big NO with fists thumping on the table or throwing back the lump of cash right onto the face of the giver. Little did I know how unprepared I was when it finally came to me.
I felt angry, sad and disappointed all at the same time. Angry at myself for letting something like this happen to me. Angry at the fella for thinking I'm like 'the others'. I felt sad because he thought of me in the same light as the other no-good pieces of crap. Disappointed because he is the same race and religion as me, and on this Holy Month, he had the nerve to do something like that. He was also someone I just knew and was getting used to working with. In some ways, he betrayed me. And I feel gutted.
But on one hand, I sympathize him. This bothered me too. I don't know why, but I do. Maybe it's the Stockholm Syndrome kicking in. It's just that I thought, maybe it's not his fault. He's a businessman. He takes action in the interest of his company. So by offering me the 'gift', he was acting in the interest of his company. Or his fat ass. I don't know.
And probably it's just the way things are done here. You want it? You gotta fork out, man. Rules of the trade. Sorry fat-ass dude, those rules don't apply to me.
I'm bitterly disappointed because he didn't have to do this to get the job. I would have given it to him anyway based on his company and how they showed their effort in wanting it. Maybe he showed too much effort, I suppose.
Which brings me to the thought that this is the kind of sick reality of the world that we live in. It's so much easier to say 'Saya Anti-Rasuah
' than actually doing it. Because unless you're in that situation, I guess nothing can prepare you to say No to that lump of paper.
Because in reality, walking the walk isn't just talking the talk.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o