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Sunday, January 29, 2006

The 26-year Dialogue

As some of you might have heard, I turned 26 recently. Wow...did I just typed out numbers 2 and 6 back-to-back? Time is certainly not on my side. But who's side is it really that time is on, will somebody tell me? I wanna be on that side too.
Anyways, earlier this month; as part of my 6-month merry misadventure, I had the chance to revisit a place I haven't been to for ages. The place? Bukit Ditarah Cherakah in Shah Alam. The last and only time I visited there was 10 years ago, as part of this 'English in Camp' program for nerdy kids like me. Yeah, yeah. I know. My teenage years was one to die for.
But I found it ironic actually. That exactly 10 years on, I would come back to this place. And it still looked the same as it was a decade ago.
Just like how I remembered it.
So with me being 26 this month, I thought what if my 16-year old self was to visit me? Don't stress yourself on the logic. Just imagine some guy invented a time machine for NASA or some smart-ass organization, and he so happens to be born in Malaysia but the only thing Malaysian about him was the bed his parents had sex on. So he makes a short visit to Malaysia (which happens to be his first, other than the time he was still shitting in his Pampers) and voila! I get an exclusive interview with my 16-year old self. And ohh, I got the chance coz I got my strings working in the Gomen. Korang rakyat jelata jangan nak mimpi lah.
So if such a thing really did happen, it would have probably looked like this:

Characters: Stone16 - My 16-year old self, Stone26 - The present Stone lah. Duh!

Stone16: Hi. Abang ni sapa yek? Muka macam familiar je.
Stone26: Kasi la salam dulu. Bertuah punya budak. Hi, hi. Ko ingat lagu Ezlynn ke?
Stone16: Ezlynn tu sapa? (kepala berkerut)
Stone26: Eh, alamak. Lupa lak dia tak glamer lagi. Ahhh...takpelah. Aku ni Stone. Aku ni diri ko masa umur 26 nanti. Ko tanya la aku apa-apa soalan.
Stone16: Ohhh...abang ni saya masa 26 nanti yek? Wow. Nanti saya membesar jugak ye?(I was a late bloomer, so at 16 I was still a munchkin)
Stone26: Memang la. Ko ingat apa? Tak sia-sia ko kerok (for definition of kerok, please refer to my previous entry 'Lingua Franca' in 2005).
Stone16: Errr...abang dah kawin ke?
Stone26: Belum lagi. Apsal? Ko nak kawin cepat ke?
Stone16: Bujang lagi ye, bang. Tak lah. Saya rasa saya kawin lambat kot. Nak enjoy dulu lah. (10 years on, some things never change). Dah ada calon ke, bang?
Stone26: Perghhh. Mama pun tak penah tanya aku soalan ni. Ko sebok apehal? Tengok la kalo ada rezeki, jodoh tak ke mana.
Stone16: Konpem la abang ni 26! Cakap macam orang tua lah..hahaha. Eh, awek abang macam Helen Hunt ke?
Stone26: Uishhh...yang ko gile Helen Hunt ni apehal??
Stone16: Mesti la bang! Saya suka tengok Mad About You. Nanti tak sabar nak tengok dia dalam Twister nanti.
Stone26: Hahaha...a'ah yek. Lupa sial aku dulu suka layan Mad About You. Citer tu pun skang dah takde dah.
Stone16: Ye ke? Aisehhh...tak best la camni. Eh bang, nanti saya keje apa yek? Engineer ke?
Stone26: A'ah. Nanti ko keje engineer. Tapi 2 tahun je lah...hahhahaha. Pastu ko keje Gomen.
Stone16: Keje Gomen?? Apsal lak bang? Abang ni tak thrill betul lah.
Stone26: Thrill kepala engko. Ko dah keje nanti ko tau la. Malas aku nak cite. Nanti ko tau.
Stone16: Ohhh...ye ke? Takpelah. Dapat jugak belaja engine yek. Abang amik engine apa ye?
Stone26: Kimia. Susah nak mampos. Kalo boleh ko amik lain la. Lagi bagus kalo ko tak amik engine pun. Ko amik la apa yang ko boleh score tutup mata.
Stone16: Haaaaa?? Amik apa?
Stone26: Takde punn. Sebab tu ko kena belajar betul-betul. Aku nasihat ko study la rerajin time Uni nanti. Jangan nak sibuk-sibuk pegi CC kat Subang tu nanti. Kuda pun jangan la main.
Stone16: Main kuda? Ishhh...abang main racehorse ke??
Stone26: Takkk. Ini kuda lain. Nanti ko tau la. Macam mesin kat Jube tu. (Jube: short form for Jubilee Park, an arcade joint in Ipoh)
Stone16: Ohhh...apsal ye? Abang ni bodoh ke time belaja nanti?
Stone26: Kalo aku bodoh, ko pun bodoh jugak la! Takde lahhh. Cuma kalo aku first class macam Khai tu, aku kencing je kat muka exec-exec Shell tu...
Stone16: Sapa Khai??
Stone26: Nevermind...
Stone16: Ok lah bang. Saya rasa time's up lah. Mamat tu dah panggil dah. One more thing, sapa menang Euro '96 nanti yek? England kan?
Stone26: Ko jangan la bet England tu. Haram takleh pakai. Aku tak bole bagitau la. Nanti keseimbangan alam apa ke jadah akan terganggu. Tapi kann..kalo aku laaa...aku minat la Klinsmann tu *wink* *wink*
Stone16: Apsal abang kenyit mata kat saya? Ingat saya jambu ke?
Stone26: @#$%*&!!

The above conversation was made possible by my kroni in the Ministry. Without them, I would have to wait 10 hours in line like the rest of you sorry folks. Terima kasih!

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