Che' Tam taught me a valuable lesson on writing. that i wasn't good in fictional work. i just suck. Che' Tam is the name of a character for a story i once wrote for the school magazine. if u were lucky enough (or unlucky depending on which way you look at it) to obtain a 1996 edition of Perintis, my failed piece of work was there for all to see. i wasn't really proud of the story, but i lost my 1996 Perintis so anyone who has a copy, i would actually pay to have it. for sentimental reasons i suppose. in any case, the story was about this boy and his relationship with Che' Tam, which in the end of the story was revealed to be actually a smelly, 1000-pound kerbau. i wrote it like a someone in love but since i had zero experience then, i transferred that love to that of an animal. and i love surprise endings, so that would explain the revelation of Che' Tam as the kerbau in the end. it wasn't much of a surprise anyway, but heck it delighted me back then. reading back the story a few years later made me realise it wasn't that good for me to be proud of it. i lack creativity. there was no ohhhs and ahhhs of reading a good story. that kick was missing. and so, i realised i just fail at fiction writing. it's a good thing i realised it sooner than later. but still i love writing. honestly, i do. call it nerdy, geeky or whatsoever, writing is the best way i express myself. i may not be very good at it (or else Random House would have given me a call already), but still it's my way of escaping the coconut shell i am currently and always have been under. i realised that i love giving out my opinions. though i am a nobody to be given attention to, i thought that my opinions and comments on a certain issue are worth listening to. i have reaped a few rewards on the things i write. (beware: berlagak section ahead. tread with caution) one of the proudest moment in my small, boring life was to have my letter appear in Time magazine back in 2001. though i didn't get any prizes for that, having the editors of Time deem my letter worth listening to and having it published was just over the moon. it was small, but very meaningful to me. other than that, i have won small prizes, a book and some money from writing. i am a small-time writer. i like that term. makes me perasan. hehe. so thanks to Che' Tam, i know i don't belong in storytelling. the real world is just as exciting, so why make it up? but in saying that, i have this screenplay i wrote a while ago. it was for a contest that i didn't even enter in the end, but i finished it up anyway. maybe for some other time. but i'm not gonna let anyone read it. no way. tapi macam la korang berminat nak baca pun, so jangan nak berlakon la. and besides, i wanna direct, produce and act in the movie. so i can go to the Academy Awards and have all the Oscars to myself. if you're lucky, i'll include you in my acceptance speech. heh.
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 5:43 PM
Project Petaling Streetcelebrates its second anniversary today. I have been pinging PPS for about a year now. Now why does that sound a bit geeky? Geekiness aside, it's my favourite destination whenever i feel like browsing people's blogs. Kudos to Aizuddin for providing Malaysian bloggers a platform where we're free to do what we do best, which is basically be Malaysians lah. It's fun to know what fellow Malaysians are doing on the other side of the planet, and closer to home...what the fellow rakyat feels on a certain issue. A variety of topics and discussions can be found on PPS every single day. I've come across some gems along the way as well. Not some, but a LOT actually. Just shows that Malaysia Boleh. Whether it's the Government trying to nail a certain blogger, the midnight antics of a KL-ite or even a trip to the Pasar Malam, it's all jumbled up rojak-style into the PPS. I think the PPS has come a long way since it was first set-up. There seem to be a lot more pings nowadays as compared to when i first started pinging a year ago, which shows just how BIG blogging is for our generation. With tonight's birthday bash and coverage by the Star's In-Tech, i bet PPS pings will skyrocket to the moon. PPS, are you ready for the mainstream? i hope everyone has a great time tonight. i'm just looking forward to the tees...hehe. oh yeah, if u didn't notice...it's Haiku Week at Mind Blowing. so what better way to wish PPS than with a home-made Haiku:
PPS is two. Small, but meaningful milestone. Happy birthday, friend.
Wahh, two already? Cepat gile dah tua. May the pings be with you.
Okay, so the last line was six syllable, but who's noticing? :p
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 5:23 PM
Saya dapat idea di bawah semasa menaiki tren pagi tadi. Naik LRT memang membosankan. Terutamanya di pagi Isnin. Semua orang muka macam @#$%. Saya tidak membaca buku di atas tren. Alasan saya adalah 'motion-sickness'. Alasan saya ini agak 'boleh pakai' juga...hehe. Disebabkan saya tidak membaca buku-buku yang tebal dengan tajuk-tajuk yang agak pelik seperti 'yuppies' LRT yang lain, saya menghabiskan masa perjalanan saya dengan berkhayal dan memerhatikan orang. Biasanya saya akan berkhayal kecuali jika terdapat pemandangan indah dalam bentuk seorang gadis yang cantik. Itupun sebenarnya jarang berlaku. Saya memang agak tidak bernasib baik. Dalam khayalan saya pagi tadi, saya mencoretkan beberapa rangkap Haiku untuk menghiburkan hati saya yang bercelaru ini. Saya suka buat benda-benda tak berfaedah seperti ini. Saya fikir asalkan saya tidak menganggu sesiapa atau menyusahkan orang lain, pedulik hapa saya nak buat apa di masa lapang saya. Berikut adalah hasil khayalan saya:
Monday really sucks. What happened to the weekend? Cepat nak mampos.
Life is not that hard. Sometimes I just think too much. Mental overtime.
I am not that old. Twenty five is OK what. Talk to the hand, Stone.
I wish I could go back to when things were simple. Senang cerita.
So many pathways. All the signs are confusing. Like KL signboards.
Dead ends really suck. Dead. And it's the end pulak. Double whammy, huh?
I need an escape. Away from everything. Have to find a cave.
Sometimes it's easy to run away from it all. I would rather walk.
Have to tell myself Wake up and face the facts, Stone. The facts ain't pretty.
Ah, what the heck man I used to believe something Not anymore kot.
Remember that film? Dead Poets' Society. Think Carpe Diem.
Writing is escape. Writing makes me feel better. Some sort of closure.
I'm getting the hang of this whole haiku business. Senang jugak, yek.
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 1:11 PM
100 years. quite some time. though the KL campus isn't exactly a hundred, it certainly feels like it. whether it's passing through the arch at the KL Gate, lining up on the steps of DTC, running through the trees of Varsity Green or walking along the corridors of Fifth Residential College, UM will always hold fond memories for me. i may not be one of the best you've produced, but it was an honour to have graced the halls of your institution. Here's to many more great years, Varsitiku.
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 2:50 PM
a dear, sweet, innocent friend doesn't know the meaning of 'gang-bang'. she doesn't. honest. don't ask me why. and so being the innocent person she was, she asked around the office. to which one guy gave this answer, "Gang bang adalah ramai-ramai pegi bank."
oh. no wonder everyone wants to go to the bank. have to visit more often. :)
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 6:06 PM
Michael Jackson never cease to amaze me. whether it's him doing the Moonwalk, danggling his kid from a balcony or re-doing his face, Michael Jackson is the perfect example of a one-man-circus. or what some people call pop culture. but yesterday, when he was acquitted on all 10 counts of molestation charges, that probably takes the cake. yeah...he probably had the best lawyers in the business, but somehow this walking icon of 80's music walked away a free man. my honest opinion? i think he's guilty. i mean...why would you pay someone in the region of 20 million dollars to shut up? seems to me a wee bit fishy, no? but the jury found him not guilty. so he's a free man. not that i have anything against MJ. hey, i grew up on this man's music. i have that sense of pityness for him, but if he really did molest those kids, then let him be damned. and yet, maybe Michael Jackson is really a kid trapped inside a man's body. he's wacko jacko for goodness sake. he could be Jimmy Hoffa for all i care. but the media frenzy that surrounds this man's life is what fascinates me. when u think about it, u could pity him for going thru such a life. where was his childhood? this guy has been in the spotlight since he was a child. it takes a lot out of you. even all those gazillion dollars wouldn't make a difference. when i started out this blog, i had this dumb idea of doing a tribute to past 80's icons called 80's Icon of the Month (what else? duh-uh). the idea fizzled out after a few months, so i never got to write about Michael Jackson, which i honestly wanted to. MJ's video clips comes to mind when u talk about 80's music. i mean...who could forget? the light-emitting sidewalk of Billy Jean, the monsters of Thriller and my favourite, the red jacket and bunch of sissy-looking gansters of Beat It. if there was a standard for video clips, MJ brought it to a whole new level. as i grew older, Michael Jackson got stranger. first, there was the chimp. then it was the crazy things they claimed during those Pepsi ads. after that it was the color of his skin. he was turning white. (gasp!) and then his nose became funny. and then those allegations start to pop up. and then he got married. not once but twice. and the rest is history i guess. and his music began to suck too. but i guess sadly, Michael will be remembered not for his music. though his sweep of the 80's music scene was notable, nothing can compare to the sleazy, sensational tales of the tabloids. this guy is media magnet. everywhere he goes is a frenzy. his stories reads better than those cheap, cheesy pulp magazines. and i was swept by it too. such a pity. i used to love the guy. my early exposure to piratehood lead me to dub a copy of Jackson's Thriller album from a friend. my sister even recorded for me his 'exclusive' interview with Oprah in the mid-90's because i couldn't watch it in school. i even wished i was able to attend his concert at Stadium Merdeka that same year. though my passion for his present music was pretty much gone, MJ continued to interest me. i even watched the controversial 'Living with Michael Jackson' on STAR World just to get the inside 'scoop'. the only sensational interview that i missed was the last one he did with Geraldo during the trial early this year. reading back this paragraph, i really do seem like a crazy MJ gossip hunter. obvious sangat ke? in any case, he's now scot-free. hate him or love him, Michael Jackson will always be that strange, soft-spoken guy with the gloves. King of Pop? i'm not sure. King of the Tabloids? most definitely. suddenly, i'm thinking about an old Michael Jackson classic that i love. this song goes out to you and me, Mike. you and me.
I'm Gonna Make A Change For Once In My Life It's Gonna Feel Real Good Gonna Make A Difference Gonna Make It Right...
As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favorite Winter Coat This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind I See The Kids In The Street With Not Enough To Eat Who Am I, To Be Blind? Pretending Not To See Their Needs A Summer's Disregard A Broken Bottle Top And A One Man's Soul They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know 'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go That's Why I Want You To Know I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place (If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place) Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change (Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change)
to that Man in the Mirror, make a change. for the better. please.
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 6:33 PM
ok space monkeys, i have an announcement to make: i am starting my own Fight Club. basic rules apply. if u don't know them, do your homework. venue and date will be announced later. most likely malam jumaat, coz we tend to get jumpy then. anyone can come. attendance is compulsory for the following: My Ego My Regrets My Pride My Mistakes Things that don't work when i need them the most The unknown The guy who came up with the 'One' concept Those who love to see me fail and oh yeah, Prof. Razak Mohaideen too.
i'm gonna beat the shit out of you guys.
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 5:31 PM
as i was browsing for some 'interesting' pictures in a friend's computer (to protect his privacy, he shall not be named), i came across this picture:
and suddenly, all the memories came flooding in:
a long time ago in a land far, far away, a group of 'UM Induk rejects' converged in a place where palm trees grace the landscape and where the locals speak of a different tongue. that magical place was Banting, home of the fabled Kolej MARA. on that hollowed ground that was more affectionately known as KMB or MCB (depending on which language u prefer), i was fortunate to know some of the most interesting people i have met on this planet. i guess it was written in our destiny, for approximately 7 years on, that small group of 'chosen ones' still convey daily if not weekly in a secluded town-house in the city of Petaling Jaya. for a place i stayed for only a year, Banting certainly left a lasting mark on me. what is it about Banting that made a lasting impression on me? is it because of the smell of keretek cigarettes blowing in the wind? it is the taste of tempe lasting on my tongue? or maybe the sheer secludedness from the reaches of civilisation has its effects on the hormonally-charged teenager i was then. and to talk about Banting, this whole bloody blog wouldn't be enough. there were so many things that would be worth hundreds of hours talking about over a cup of teh tarik: the evil warden that was Badar who would make life a living hell there. the Portuguese headmaster by the name of Mathias who had this funny accent and lingo that would make us laugh into the night. the different kinds of teachers there, each with their own cute and funny personality. the intense rivalry between hostel blocks that would rival any Manchester derby. the awesome yet peculiar food they served to us daily (kudos to MARA for belanja makan). it wasn't all nice and rosy. but it was one helluva ride. personally for me, Banting brought me into the real world; outside of my sheer narrow-minded head that was the 'mentaliti budak asrama'. it was the place i learned and mingled more with the other sex, being brought up in a testosterone-filled environment in school. it was the place i first fell in love (stop rolling those eyes, people), the place where i met these crazy bunch of people that i would grow attached to after all these years. it was truly a learning experience. i guess us so-called 'Bantingers' were close because actually, there was nothing for us to do there except borak. and yeahhh...we borak like crazy. and why shouldn't we? TV was crap. no place to hang out at night, even the weekends. the only reliable source of entertainment was the radio. i think i could name all 40 hits on Rick Dees if u asked me back then. a certain blue coloured radio from Kuman comes to mind, not to mention Jack's cassette player which would sit nicely in the common room. i guess we would have gone bonkers without radio. and when u think about it, Banting had nothing. zip, zero, nil...unless u count KFC as a landmark (ada 2 KFC beb). weekends at Banting would be a trip to the cyber-cafe, Laser Disc watching or maybe a round of snooker or video games at those sleazy-looking parlours which smelled of 'only-God-knows-what'. if u were more daring, u would take the one-hour bus ride to Klang just to watch a bloody movie. but the ride would be worth it if u had some source of motivation along the way, if u know what i mean. even a trip to town was an adventure itself. we had to walk almost a kilometer to get to the bus stop. but i guess everything in Banting was an adventure. whether u're waiting for hours for that crappy mee goreng at the cafe' or taking turns doing the laundry, it was all unpredictable. sometimes we even filled time watching airplanes take off from KLIA. it really was a nice view from that huge 'tangki air'. i dunno, but i guess there's something about boys and 'tangki air' that just cannot be separated...hehe. but watching dawn break from that angle was marvellous, i tell ya. it's been roughly 7 years since we first met in Banting. everyone in the picture above has changed. some have gotten bigger (most of 'em...hehe), some got smaller, some have gone on to better things but most are now working. (i think all kot). one has gotten married and a few will probably be doing so by the end of this year. your truly? same 'ol same 'ol, i guess. i changed too, but i dunno if it's for the better. mannn...we were so innocent then. this picture was taken just after our 1st semester exams, so i guess most of us were thinking about how to spend the holidays. kahwin? kereta? rumah? what was that?? ahhhh...youth is innocence. innocence that is now lost. o innocence, where art thou?
*Aku rasa geli pulak tengok posing camtu. Tapi masa tu bukan cool ke posing tak tengok camera? Alaaa..poster-poster URTV selalu macam tu dulu. Bukan salah aku jadi trend-follower (sambil menahan muntah)
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 2:01 PM
meeting up with my school buddies are always a delight. even though yesterday's small get-together was to visit a sick friend, it never cease to amaze me. how even though we don't see each other very often, everything just clicks the moment we meet. the home-cooked meal and tableful of people kinda reminded me of the old days (well...the dewan makan food can never be compared with home lah). and i was amazed at my friend's strong spirit. i envy his calmness and composure at such a difficult time. i don't think i can be that strong. i'm such a wuss. i feel so lucky to be in the company of this group of people. even though some of them weren't able to attend, their kind gestures and un-selfishness really made up for their absence. inspired me as well. true friends are supposed to be there for you through thick and thin. a friend in need is a friend indeed? sangatlah betul, sangatlah betul.
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 12:24 PM
a close relative passed away in Mecca recently. it's a strange feeling, really. no body, no solat jenazah, no last goodbyes. not even a marked grave. it's like someone going away, never to return. because the only proof of death is through the trust of another man's words.
yet, you take comfort in the fact that he is in good company. in the land of the Prophet, the sacred land of Tanah Suci.
and there's something about seeing the tears of your own mother that's so heart-wrenching. though the reasons are purely sentimental, you can't help but feel shocked to the core. we are so fragile. we are only human.
Dari Allah kita datang dan kepada-Nya kita kembali
Al-Fatihah to all dearly departed.
o this message was brought to you by The Narrator @ 12:19 AM