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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Dial M for Marriage

hmmm...seems the only thing i've been hearing about these past 2 weeks is about marriage. a couple of friends are getting married soon if not later this year, my sister's planning one end of this year and cousins? well...let's just say i've got the school holidays pretty much occupied.
as i hit the magic number that is 25 this month, u can't help but think about this. (kalo tak caye, ko tunggu until u hit 25 and tell me). actually, it doesn't bother me that much. and i mean that in the most honest way possible. problem is, everyone around me is worried. not worried about me lah silly (though i know some of u kesiannnn tgk stone...hahahha), rather...they're worried about the big M word. Kawin...ehhh..Marriage.
yeah..marriage is not an easy thing. it's too big to be jotted down in a couple of paragraphs in this stupid ol' blog of mine. actually...i just wanna write about my thoughts on marriage as i am now at 25 years and 13 days. it might change completely as time goes by...but at this particular moment in time, let's just spill it out on the table.
first question everyone from your long-lost cousin to your friendly neighbourhood mamak asks is of course....'Calon dah ada?' which of course leads to the question, 'Bile nak kawin?' what is it actually about Malays and kawin? it's like the most accepted question no matter where u are, be it at the post office, kenduri kahwin (duh!) or even the toilet. i won't be jumping the gun to answer these questions here. but it IS something i think about and one which i really take seriously...no matter what u people think.
honestly and truthfully.....i don't see myself marrying in one or two years. i'l stick my neck out here and say well...let's just say the 'Calon takde' part is not part of the equation. some may say...'Pompuan bodoh mana laaa nak tunggu ko.' then i consider myself lucky to meet that so-called 'Pompuan bodoh'. (no sexism intended here)
i have to agree that women don't have time on their side. the biological clock is alive and counting down fast. so it would then be rather logical that it would be the ladies to think of settling down earlier than the man. i dunno about u guys, but for me...a 27 year old guy and a 27 year old girl are worlds apart in terms of thinking. it's some kind of wonder that women mature faster than the men...coz when 12 year old girls are worrying about the size of their breasts, 12 year old boys are still wondering how on earth does Ultraman go to the toilet?? and to think that us men have 2 heads. probably we're using the wrong one....hehe.
jokes aside...for me, marriage is a really big thing. it's a commitment by two individuals to live together for the rest of your lives. to share your ups and down, your friend, partner, lover, listener. i just look at my parents to enjoy the beauty of marriage. yeahh..they have fights once in a while, and it's not all smooth sailing. but by hook or by crook, they get thru everything. Together. when my mom had to rush home from the States to deliver me, leaving him alone and working part-time at a meat factory. it's not all rosy, but then it's not all that thorny either.
maybe it's just my family, coz i have lots of older cousins who are still in line to the errr...throne? trust me, i won't be melangkah, but rather leaping benduls if i get married this year. so what's the rush? but that's being little selfish me, without thought for the other one. coz..well, u know..u need 2 people to get married rite?
i dunno. i guess it doesn't run in my blood to marry early. my mom once told me she didn't care if she didn't get married at all. she had her job, her family, u know..the usual. but that was before my dad came to her in his shiny armour, of course. and i guess 33 years later...if i ask her the same question again...i would surely get a different answer. and besides....tak dapat la anak cute macam aku ni...hehehe...
but i don't believe in rushing into marriage. (except khalwat laaa..but that's a different story) it's something u've got to prepare urself for. actually, the financial part of it is the most vital. i mean...if u hardly have enough for urself...how the hell are u gonna support 2-3 people?? i don't wanna marry just for the sake of marrying. i want to have enough not for myself, but for everyone. money can't buy happiness? well, maybe it can't...but it certainly can buy a house, car and some diapers and milk. but how much is enough? i dunno...tapi bak kata orang, 'Kalau dah tiba seru tu..' well, i know i haven't heard that seru yet.
besides, unless i feel that i can give the best that i can to my family, i'd rather menyusahkan diri sendiri. marriage is no joke and i don't wanna be the one laughing alone.
this of course depends on each individual and family backgrounds. i'm lucky, i guess..to have a family who doesn't bother much about this thing. maybe they bother, but they sure don't look so. as i write this, i too...long for that special day, being the Raja Sehari. to have a family of my own. to watch your own child's birth. to watch them take their first steps. to...ehhhh...apa aku mengarut nih...hehe. but who wouldn't? tapi bukan nak cakap apa laaa...unless u plan to be a hermit, everyone has that desire to settle down and have a family. i guess mine's not anytime soon. but u never know, right?

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