Mind Blowing

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Thursday, July 15, 2004

Lost in KL

recently i watched Sophia Copolla's critically acclaimed 'Lost in Translation'. it was okay...but for me..it kinda dragged on a bit. i was more impressed with the storyline which well...in a way reflected what i think i'm going thru now. difference is...i'm not in Tokyo and at least the things on TV aren't that crappy.
i guess from the emails and stuff that's been sent to me...they call it the 'Mid-20's crisis. i call it bull****. yeah...maybe we're a bit confused about "what the hell am i doing here?" and "i can't be doing this for the rest of my life?" phrases. fact is...we're all human. and i don't think this applies to all mid-20's. i'll bet people in their 50's will be asking the same question. what differentiates us is well...maybe we can do something about it. at least i think i can.
but till when will be satisfied?? will i ask the same question if i get a better job? and what defines a 'better job'? more pay? or the satisfaction of it? or both? or maybe the hot chicks u get to see everyday? hmmmm..u tell me.
i have friends and family, but at times it feels so lonely. is that a sign or something? i guess so...but how will i know i won't miss the loneliness? the times when the world seem so irrelevant and everything in front of u just passes by quickly. u know...like those video clips where everything's in fast forward except the artist.
careers, relationships, social circles, family, the future....mannn...there's a lot of stuff to think about now. i try to take it one at a time but it's all in fast forward. the days are so short and time just flies. it's hard to explain actually. i'm not depressed (trust me...i think i'm never serious) nor am i cheerful. i'm surrounded by people yet i'm alone. i'm happy with my job but i'm not satisfied with it. i have money but i feel it's never enough. i wanna spend more time with my family but i want to live the life too. i guess every once in a while, we’re bound to go thru this; being the foreigner in your own country, lost in translation with nowhere to go. and when that phase is over, i guess we'll miss the way it felt and ask ourselves the same questions again.
this might not make sense to some of u, but I never really made much sense anyway. It’s just something I’m going through at the moment. Is there a support group or something for this kinda thing? Or maybe I should do a Fight Club and attend critical support groups that I have nothing to do with. Suddenly, what The Narrator did in that movie made sense, and what I wouldn’t give for a piece of that now.

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