Mind Blowing

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Friday, March 26, 2004

My life is pelik

it's been a crazy month this march for me. ntah laaa...i guess life has this funny way of showing things to u in a weird way. i dunno....it's just a thought. firstly, let me say that this has been a hectic month for me, career-wise. i was on the verge of collapsing....rasa nak resign esok je. but i stayed put...put my life in order...and continued the fight. my morale has never been this low in my entire pathtic life. it's like every day having to face failure. problem is....it's not even my problem. but sebab aku terasa mcm tanggungjawab aku....aku struggle gak. now i've learned to take things slowly. breathe a little....it's not entirely my fault. production team rileks je....aku lak yang struggle lebih2. mentang2 la aku baru.....
anyways....this week has been totally different. boss aku nampak aku pressure kot. baru je tau...selama ni keje nak tiao orang je. actually, he's a great guy. i wouldn't have problems being friends wit him if i knew him outside the company. bukannya tua sangat pun...27. that's my boss...the beer-drinking, rantai-wearing dude who's kinda cool but can be a pain in the ass anytime.
today was really weird. it's like this...every 26 of the month, we'll receive the attendence list to be checked and to claim any overtime. (best thing pasal tempat aku pun is sebab bole claim maximum 50 hours overtime for staff). as usual...aku punya overtime memang triple digits laaa (nada berlagak). aku punya department head...who happens to be this caring amoi, tengok punya la terperanjat...what the hell....this kid is doing 100+ hours per month. what the fuck is production doing? main telur ke?? hehhehehehe......
anyways....to cut the story short...she highlighted this thing to the Managing Director. gile malu aku....attendence list kena tengok dengan MD. so...he asked what is this?? sweat shop factory ke?? terasa hero lak aku....kekkekeke....
so now...boss aku dah tak kasi aku lepak factory after 7. bayangkan laaaa...ur own boss suruh u balik rumah. siap call aku tadi kul 7. 45 to make sure i already went home. crazy mannnn....
but the pelik thing is....i feel bad about this. aku memang la penat keje...but i guess the pressure drives me on. it's like this adrenaline rush bile ada problem. silap2 kalo aku buat desk job....bole tido kebosanan...coz there's no rush of adrenaline. i dunno..cuba la production line and u'll know what i mean. aku tak penah complain to my superiors about my struggles. i just labour on...live for another day. i guess i'm now quite used to it. dulu nak pegi keje...terasa sayu je.....
so i dunno if i'm happy or sad. i kinda like the people i'm working with. i just hate the environment. semua young blood, so u kinda connect wit each other. lepak office after 9 doesn't feel that bad sambil gelak2, sembang2.
so i used to hate the factory. i still hate it, but not that bad laaa.....this is pretty weird for me. the sudden change of mind. i know i'll have to move along soon in my career, but the experience of working there is priceless. hopefully i won't stay long. nanti kena halau lagi dengan boss.....hehehhehehe........

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