Mind Blowing

Thoughts and other crap on people, life and maybe footie...
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I wrote this haiku
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It blows you away.

The name is irrelevant.
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The age is older.
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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Everyday should be a holiday


Holidays are nice, aren't they? The week-long CNY holiday was the perfect outlet for me to unwind after a few weeks of hectic misadventures. It's been a few weeks of sorts, with a jumble of activities draining me both physically, and mentally. The holidays couldn't have come sooner.
Let me just sum up a glimpse of what I've been thru this past month. It started out with a two-day team building thingamajig in Bukit Cherakah. This 'escapade' just made me realize I am no more the kid who loved the outdoors once upon a time ago. Camping sucks, man. I don't know how you nature-lover people could survive in there. Everything is damp and smelly and I now know that the ground isn't made of Slumberland material.
We also had classes, which wasn't that bad if you had classes ONLY. But throw in a little weekend getaway hiking up some gunung in Kuala Pilah, plus organizing a little holiday makan-makan, plus the routine daily rituals we had to oblige to, and you get one messed-up head like mine; which is only thinking what the hell am I supposed to do next??
But in a way, it's a learning experience for me. It's something different, most definitely. And the physical activities certainly have benefited me. I feel so sihat. I'm fit as a fiddle. Let me rephrase that, I'm fitter than a fiddle.
And why not? Between the weekly morning and afternoon jog, we have some football in there, some hiking too and oh...not to mention swimming. We just had our first swimming class last week. I so look forward to swimming class. Being somone who'll sink inside a pool faster than you can say 'Help!', I hope by the end of this six months I'll be challenging Ian Thorpe for medals. Heh.
One thing I've noticed is that I've never felt home so warm and comfy. For the first time in a long, long time, I was really looking forward to come home and laze it out through the holidays. Usually by the 3rd day, I'd be itching to go out. Usually to KL. But now I'd rather be home, watching my pile of unwatched DVDs, or reading the newspaper or one of EE's books in bed, or rather, even blogging. I know for certain I haven't done that in a little while.
So maybe this holiday season, I'm playing catch-up. Is life moving faster than me? Probably that's one of the things they never tell you about being 26. Life certainly whizzes by.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Monday, January 30, 2006

How the hell do you say 'meme'?

Ms. Chi tagged me, so here we go:
The Rules:
1) Write an entry of between 100-200 words, with these words have to be included once, and only once:- I- me- blowjob- grapes- random- power- loneliness- water - robot- blue.*Cookie points if you can use them in order. But not necessary, it's supposed to be a challenge ~
2) Out of the 10 words, you can only change 2 words. grapes to condoms and blue to fuck.
3) Your essay must make some kind of sense. If it's not cool, then it won't get published!
4) Send to 5 people -> You, you, you, you and you at the back who's digging his nose. As a firm believer in democracy, I believe every citizen has the right to choose whatever he/she wants within the written law. Therefore, every reader out there (that means all five of you) has an equal opportunity to exercise his/her right to be tagged. Thank you.

I wanna talk about life.
For me, some things in life are worth appreciating. The sound of rain dropping, the view of early dawn, the smell of freshly-cut grass. Unfortunately most of the time, life is like doing a blowjob. You suck it all in, and in the end you get nothing but a bitter taste in your mouth.
But most people are just being sour grapes. We blame life for how it is. We like to think everything happens at random just to please our selfish ego. So we can give ourselves a reason everytime we fail.
To make things even worse, we crave for power. Just so we know we're in charge. People never get enough of it. Question is, do we really need it?
Probably what we need is some loneliness. Some time to ourselves. To listen to our heart and mind. Because we rarely tune in.
The body needs the heart and mind like flowers need water. We can't ignore
its needs. What does it really want? God or Gucci? Prada or peace?
Maybe sometimes, it's better to be a robot. No heart. No feelings. Just metal. Bare metal.

Fuck. No wonder some people commit suicide.

200 words. Not a word more. Not a word less. Sekian, terima kasih.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Sunday, January 29, 2006

The 26-year Dialogue

As some of you might have heard, I turned 26 recently. Wow...did I just typed out numbers 2 and 6 back-to-back? Time is certainly not on my side. But who's side is it really that time is on, will somebody tell me? I wanna be on that side too.
Anyways, earlier this month; as part of my 6-month merry misadventure, I had the chance to revisit a place I haven't been to for ages. The place? Bukit Ditarah Cherakah in Shah Alam. The last and only time I visited there was 10 years ago, as part of this 'English in Camp' program for nerdy kids like me. Yeah, yeah. I know. My teenage years was one to die for.
But I found it ironic actually. That exactly 10 years on, I would come back to this place. And it still looked the same as it was a decade ago.
Just like how I remembered it.
So with me being 26 this month, I thought what if my 16-year old self was to visit me? Don't stress yourself on the logic. Just imagine some guy invented a time machine for NASA or some smart-ass organization, and he so happens to be born in Malaysia but the only thing Malaysian about him was the bed his parents had sex on. So he makes a short visit to Malaysia (which happens to be his first, other than the time he was still shitting in his Pampers) and voila! I get an exclusive interview with my 16-year old self. And ohh, I got the chance coz I got my strings working in the Gomen. Korang rakyat jelata jangan nak mimpi lah.
So if such a thing really did happen, it would have probably looked like this:

Characters: Stone16 - My 16-year old self, Stone26 - The present Stone lah. Duh!

Stone16: Hi. Abang ni sapa yek? Muka macam familiar je.
Stone26: Kasi la salam dulu. Bertuah punya budak. Hi, hi. Ko ingat lagu Ezlynn ke?
Stone16: Ezlynn tu sapa? (kepala berkerut)
Stone26: Eh, alamak. Lupa lak dia tak glamer lagi. Ahhh...takpelah. Aku ni Stone. Aku ni diri ko masa umur 26 nanti. Ko tanya la aku apa-apa soalan.
Stone16: Ohhh...abang ni saya masa 26 nanti yek? Wow. Nanti saya membesar jugak ye?(I was a late bloomer, so at 16 I was still a munchkin)
Stone26: Memang la. Ko ingat apa? Tak sia-sia ko kerok (for definition of kerok, please refer to my previous entry 'Lingua Franca' in 2005).
Stone16: Errr...abang dah kawin ke?
Stone26: Belum lagi. Apsal? Ko nak kawin cepat ke?
Stone16: Bujang lagi ye, bang. Tak lah. Saya rasa saya kawin lambat kot. Nak enjoy dulu lah. (10 years on, some things never change). Dah ada calon ke, bang?
Stone26: Perghhh. Mama pun tak penah tanya aku soalan ni. Ko sebok apehal? Tengok la kalo ada rezeki, jodoh tak ke mana.
Stone16: Konpem la abang ni 26! Cakap macam orang tua lah..hahaha. Eh, awek abang macam Helen Hunt ke?
Stone26: Uishhh...yang ko gile Helen Hunt ni apehal??
Stone16: Mesti la bang! Saya suka tengok Mad About You. Nanti tak sabar nak tengok dia dalam Twister nanti.
Stone26: Hahaha...a'ah yek. Lupa sial aku dulu suka layan Mad About You. Citer tu pun skang dah takde dah.
Stone16: Ye ke? Aisehhh...tak best la camni. Eh bang, nanti saya keje apa yek? Engineer ke?
Stone26: A'ah. Nanti ko keje engineer. Tapi 2 tahun je lah...hahhahaha. Pastu ko keje Gomen.
Stone16: Keje Gomen?? Apsal lak bang? Abang ni tak thrill betul lah.
Stone26: Thrill kepala engko. Ko dah keje nanti ko tau la. Malas aku nak cite. Nanti ko tau.
Stone16: Ohhh...ye ke? Takpelah. Dapat jugak belaja engine yek. Abang amik engine apa ye?
Stone26: Kimia. Susah nak mampos. Kalo boleh ko amik lain la. Lagi bagus kalo ko tak amik engine pun. Ko amik la apa yang ko boleh score tutup mata.
Stone16: Haaaaa?? Amik apa?
Stone26: Takde punn. Sebab tu ko kena belajar betul-betul. Aku nasihat ko study la rerajin time Uni nanti. Jangan nak sibuk-sibuk pegi CC kat Subang tu nanti. Kuda pun jangan la main.
Stone16: Main kuda? Ishhh...abang main racehorse ke??
Stone26: Takkk. Ini kuda lain. Nanti ko tau la. Macam mesin kat Jube tu. (Jube: short form for Jubilee Park, an arcade joint in Ipoh)
Stone16: Ohhh...apsal ye? Abang ni bodoh ke time belaja nanti?
Stone26: Kalo aku bodoh, ko pun bodoh jugak la! Takde lahhh. Cuma kalo aku first class macam Khai tu, aku kencing je kat muka exec-exec Shell tu...
Stone16: Sapa Khai??
Stone26: Nevermind...
Stone16: Ok lah bang. Saya rasa time's up lah. Mamat tu dah panggil dah. One more thing, sapa menang Euro '96 nanti yek? England kan?
Stone26: Ko jangan la bet England tu. Haram takleh pakai. Aku tak bole bagitau la. Nanti keseimbangan alam apa ke jadah akan terganggu. Tapi kann..kalo aku laaa...aku minat la Klinsmann tu *wink* *wink*
Stone16: Apsal abang kenyit mata kat saya? Ingat saya jambu ke?
Stone26: @#$%*&!!

The above conversation was made possible by my kroni in the Ministry. Without them, I would have to wait 10 hours in line like the rest of you sorry folks. Terima kasih!

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Friday, January 20, 2006

Masa mencemburui kita

I have a million things to write about, yet time and shortage of net facilities hold me back. All I could muster out is this:

I'm not known for my social abilities. But once in a while, I like to be in the spotlight.
So today, I proved something to myself and to those out there who doubted me. It's nothing big really. But it made me feel good.

I hope you enjoyed smelling my dust.

And ohhh...thanks for all the birthday wishes. Really appreciated it. Of course, being 26 deserves an entry of its own. Nantilah bila senang.

Dua bulan lagi kot.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Monday, January 09, 2006

Aidiladha 1426

I think the only time people find their inner peace is when they're six feet under the ground.
Even then, nobody knows for sure.

Good luck looking for your inner peace.
And have a happy and blessed Aidiladha too, okay?

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Monday, January 02, 2006

My 2005

2005 has come and passed us. Looking back, 2005 was quite an interesting year and a memorable one, at that.
Around the world, 2005 was probably the year Mother Nature tested us. But in those times of need, I was touched to see the true human being coming out to help fellow mankind. It was a year of disaster, yet from the disaster, in some ways we came together and felt for those who were less fortunate. Maybe it wasn't enough but every hand that gives is truly a great way to start reminding ourselves that we are afterall, just human.
In my own little cocunut-shell world, it was the year I switched jobs - again. But this time, after a good thought and some pening kepala sessions, maybe I've settled on what I'll be doing for the next, at least 10-20 years. And that gives me piece of mind, knowing there is a 'road map' for where I'm headed in my life. Alhamdulillah.
2005 was also the year of attending great shows and events, notably the Force of Nature concert in March and my first-ever show at the Actor's Studio with Life Sdn. Bhd. 3. Other notables was watching Yasmin Ahmad's love masterpiece, Sepet (and falling in love with Sharifah Amani on the way) and the Malaysian-Singapore joint effort in Separation 40. Here's looking forward to another great year in the Malaysian entertainment scene in 2006. Maybe I got off to a good start with last night's rendezvous with Peter Pan at Stadium Merdeka. Rain, mud and Mat-Mat Indon all. Enggak perlu Woodstock, dong!
It was the case of chickens coming home to roost for me in 2005 with my moving back into my parents' home in Seremban. After more than a decade of running around aimlessly, I packed my stuff in my rented house in PJ and head back home. No more weekend lunchtime at Zainul's for me :(
On a sad note, arwah Pak Badik left us this year while performing his umrah in Mekkah. And with Mak Lang still in coma from last week, it has been tough times for the family.
But in times of darkness, a beacon came in the form of EE getting engaged and later tied the knot within the year 2005. She has now moved to the North to be with her hubby and I'm proud and happy to have been there with her through this important period in her life. When's my turn, you ask? How dare you! :P
I guess that pretty much sums up 2005 for me personally. It was the year I reached the significant mark of 25 and I look forward to the new year as I have approached life itself: Full of optimism and hope for a better tomorrow.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o